I came across this link at The Weekly Standard blog for the Obama Inauguration Speech Generator and couldn't resist. You simply type in some adjectives, nouns, etc., and it generates the speech. There were a few glaring errors, but I think it holds up well. This is my Obama Inauguration speech:
Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces scream inducing and red challenges like never before. Our economy is Islamist. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for strategeries. Our healthcare system is most excellent. If your left foot is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a scheming trial lawyer. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a pacifier diapers. But mortifying together we can right this ship, and set a course for Wasilla, AK.
Finally, I must thank my revolting family, my amazing campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Harlem Globe Trotters for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of romancing the American people. Without your rabid efforts, none of this would have been possible.
All in all, I accidentally got in some pretty good lines, dontcha think? I almost capitalized red because it's my favorite color, but then thought it would look out of place. My bad. Please do try it and post your results in the comments. I'll put them up on the main page so that the entire guillotine family and avid readers can be represented for Obama's Big Day.
Willard's contribution, which reads like me trying to cheer up my boy after losing a basketball game, plus pure 15 year-old boy. It's pretty darn good:
My fellow Americans, today is a black day. You have shown the world
that "hope" is not just another word for "they", and that "change" is
not only something we can believe in again, but something we can
actually sodomized.
Today we celebrate, but let there be no
mistake – America faces serious and awesome challenges like never
before. Our economy is fast. Americans can barely afford their
mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for the chess team.
Our healthcare system is fat. If your weenis is sick and you don't have
insurance, you might as well call a sanitation engineer. And America's
image overseas is tarnished like a can bottle cap. But molesting
together we can right this ship, and set a course for church.
Finally,
I must thank my smart family, my dumb campaign volunteers, but most of
all, I want to thank Taliban for making this historic occasion
possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years
of hustling the American people. Without your sexy efforts, none of
this would have been possible.
HERE'S MINE:
My fellow Americans, today is a sparkly day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "truck", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually jostle.
Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces insane and cracktastic challenges like never before. Our economy is jiggly. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for boots. Our healthcare system is purple. If your eyelash is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a prison guard. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a beer can ring. But displaying together we can right this ship, and set a course for Aggieland.
Finally, I must thank my metaphysical family, my turgid campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank the Amish for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of singing the American people. Without your mellifluous efforts, none of this would have been possible.
Posted by: Veritas | January 18, 2009 at 09:23 PM