In the blogosphere, some people enjoy spitting out lists on topics various and sundry. Not content to make lists only for themselves and their readers, they tag others and insist those innocent by-standing bloggers fill out the lists as well. Fran at Eternity Road, a blogger I truly enjoyed until approximately 10 minutes ago, has tagged me for this book question list. Alrighty, then.
1. The number of books I own.
Books are soo long. Ya know? I mean, it takes forever to read one. Like I might miss something really important on E! or the Shopping Channel. I really love the ones with pictures, though, cause they don't have too many words. Glamour magazine has pictures and makeup tips and political advice from celebrities all in the same place. Cool, huh? And really, books are way expensive. A book costs as much as an eggshellicious shimmer eye shadow at Dillard's cosmetics counter. Can you even believe that? I mean, they both last about 6 months, but which one makes me look good, ya know?
But my friends all think I'm really smart cause I have way more than 5 books in the basket beside the toilet and that doesn't even include Cosmo.
2. The last book I bought.
This is soo easy, cause I bought books yesterday at the mall before my hair appointment at Matrix Salon. I was walking past the bookstore checking my hair in the mirrors and this book, He's Just Not That Into You, just jumped out at me. I'm not kidding. Jumped out! It was like karma or it was meant to be or something.
Oh not for me, silly. I have these friends, though, and they just can't understand why guys don't like them or anything. And I really didn't want to tell them it was because they just weren't that cute, ya know, even though it's totally true, but they were really whining about it and starting to seriously get on my nerves. So I bought them copies of this book and now someone else can tell them they're ugly and then I won't hurt their feelings and stuff. Isn't that super cool?
I didn't read it or anything, I mean, why would I?
3. The last book I read.
My sister who is way, way smarter than me, if you can even believe it, gave me a copy of The Nanny Diaries. I started reading it, but it made me so stinking mad I threw it against the wall and started crying all at once, which ruined my makeup let me tell you. I mean, here are these women living in New York City and being rich and shopping and they're bitchin' about it to me living in small town Texas and our mall doesn't even have The Gap? Are you kidding me?
It took chocolate to recover from trying to read this book, that's how bad it was and then I had to eat salad the whole next day to make up for it. Don't you just hate insensitive women? My sister lives in Dallas, though, so she probably felt sorry for them, but she's got decent shopping so I guess she didn't understand how much it would upset me. If she hadn't given me that totally cute black dress I'd really hate her right now.
4. Five books that mean a lot to me.
1) The Bible. Well, DUH!! I mean, if my Sunday school teacher hadn't read me that part about asking Jesus into my heart, I would have to burn in hell for, like, forever and wouldn't that just totally suck? And that do unto others thing has made me a lot nicer person, too. I mean, I wouldn't have bought all those books for my friends this week if I hadn't learned the platinum rule, right? Or is that American Express? I never can keep those straight. Anyway...
2) Diana Princess of Wales: A Tribute in Photographs. Okay, we all probably have this one cause ya gotta admit, it's a classic. I mean, she's a role model for girls and women everywhere and being a princess and everything is just so totally cool. Except that bulimia part. If she'd just have read Suzanne Somers' diet books maybe she wouldn't have felt so fat and run from the press and been killed in that fiery car accident. But other than that she just rocked!
3) Brad Pitt. I don't know which Brad Pitt book you currently have, but this is just the best one ever and I'm not kidding. The pictures are just fantabulous and plus it's only 143 pages long which makes it even more super excellent! And now that he left Jennifer Aniston to run around saving Africa with Angelina Jolie and stuff, he's a much more caring guy. I mean, sure, he left his wife to score with another woman, which is kinda tacky, but it's for a good cause, ya know?
4) Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Okay, I really didn't read this book, but this list is getting really, seriously long and I have to moisturize later. I saw the movie though, so that should count, right? Plus Sandra Bullock and I were born on the same day and I know we have a lot in common after watching this movie except for that part about her mother going to the nut house and everything. I really felt sorry for her after that, didn't you?
5) The Roswell Ufo Crash: What They Don't Want You To Know. I know ya'll have probably read all the other books I recommended, like, who hasn't? But I wanted to tell about this one totally great book you might have missed, because in this day and age we just can't be to careful about what the government is up to. I mean, it's way long and hard to read and everything, but I'll bet that's why the government doesn't want us to know about it. It's hiding in plain, boring sight kinda like Katie Couric.
Just think about that for a minute. If you read a page a day it will only take a year to finish and it's worth a couple of hours out of your day to understand how government works, ya know? Cause we have to be ready.
And now that I've finished this list I'm glad Fran sent it to me. I had oodles of fun and I'm thinking about sending him a list of my own! It's great that we can all get to know each other better, ya know?
Update: My mother is going to kill me for this. Sorry Mom! Love ya.
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