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Biography

The most important thing to understand about me is I have a very dark sense of humor. Please use that information as a filter for everything written here. The second most important thing to understand about me is aside from God, there probably isn’t a thing that is not going to be made fun of at this site.

I started this blog because one of my goals in life is to become the next Erma Bombeck. My plan was to write something funny everyday to practice for my future career and keep my mother informed as to what craziness is currently brewing at the guillotine household.

The trouble is I am widely known to go haring off on rabbit trails ending up miles from my original destination point with no road leading back to the point in the unlikely event that I recall the original point in the first place.

Keeping all of those things in mind, there is absolutely no telling what may interest me enough to write about on a given day. I am a Christian, but I am also a long, long way from perfect. I love my family, history, trivia, teaching kids, politics, books and satire. I also find it almost impossible to resist becoming the devil’s advocate in any conversation .

All that said, here is what other people have written to or about me in the last 10 years:

You led your mother and I to lots of prayer. ~ J.

I love you because you buy me shoes and clothes. ~ Veritas (age 9)

You’ve always encouraged me to do what I like and never pushed me to do anything I didn’t want to. (well, anything but schoolwork). ~ Valentine (age 13)

You are great because you take us to the convenience store and McDonalds and Burger King. I like you because you let us play in the water. You feed us and cook good. The End. ~ Vision (age 6)

You will always be my favorite cousin! ~ a cousin

No matter what happens, you find a way to bring fun to the situation. ~ C.

You are very funny and not afraid to embarrass yourself . ~ R.

You insist on being at every sports game to yell really loud. ~ Viagra (age 15)

Instead of becoming a super model you sacrificed your hips and stayed home to have 5 demonized kids. ~ The 5 demonized kids

Lana - n. meaning best history teacher ever! ~ S. (a student)

Mom, you should try whistling while you work. ~ Willard

You get your sick sense of humor from your Dad. ~ Mom/Gran

The first time I saw you I thought you were a dumb-blonde fashion plate. ~ M.

I knew you were pregnant. You’re just too vain to be fat. ~ Dad

Thanks for the best laugh this week! ~ via email